About my marriage

If I had known how much time and energy it takes to be married, then I wouldn’t have done it. What a chance that I didn’t know ;-)

S’aimer, ce n’est pas se regarder l’un l’autre,

c’est regarder ensemble dans la même direction

– Antoine de St-Exupéry.

Don’t think that our marriage is easy and romantic. My wife and I have a lot of differences in communication style, faith and temperament. We dispute fervently. Sometimes I feel sorry for those who happen to see or hear one of our battles. Especially our children. But until now we always, always have managed to reconcile.

When we see that so many marriages in this world fail, we are tempted to give up, divorce, to be “realistic”. But as a Catholic I say to myself in hard moments “I took responsibility for my wife and our children, I have no right to give up. It is not my job to decide whether it is realistic. If it was a wrong decision, then let it be wrong until the end.” In my hardest moments I say “Okay, I am gonna do a pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostella, and afterwards I will decide.” I can imagine that I would indeed do this, but until now I always changed my mind before even starting to prepare…