One of my close friends is a narcissist. All I read about the topic tells me that he is. He is unable to say “Oops, I admit that I made a mistake, please forgive me”. Even in minor situations he would never say “Oops, I forgot the key” but rather “Oops, the key stayed at home”. And when a situation gives undeniable evidence that he is to blame, he falls into a deep hole where he sits for hours or even days, unable to do anything useful or to think about anything else. He is convinced that others in general don’t love him as he deserves. He hates to get labeled. He is allergic to critics. He uses other people to meet his needs. His feelings are the only ones that matter. He believes in a double standard regarding how he is treated. He doesn’t care about how other people feel. It is very difficult to collaborate with him.
That’s called narcissistic personality disorder. Therapists give clear advice: Run away! Save yourself! Seems like a tough diagnose.
But I am not a psychotherapist, so who am I that I dare to judge? And even if it is true: shouldn’t I rather forgive him for having this disorder? Does it help him to get healed from this disorder?