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Little Samuel fidgeting in bed

Sunday, October 31, 2021 (07:35)

“What are you fidgeting all the time, making the bed collapse?” (“Mis sa rapsid siin kogu aeg nii, et voodi variseb?”)

This is what my wife asked me 10 minutes ago. “Oops, sorry,” I said, “yes I am again wide awake, anyway I was about to get up so that at least you can sleep.”

Here we go for another story.

When you wake up in the night, that’s because God wants to tell you something. That’s inspired from little Samuel (1 Samuel 3:1-21). Only that during the last weeks God seems to have gone nervous. I rarely sleep more than 3 or 4 hours in a row. The Synod project haunts me, it takes most of my energy. But even this doesn’t actually bother me. It takes much energy, but it gives even more.

This morning he obviously want to tell me more about what happened yesterday. Yesterday I had a Jitsi meeting with a friend who made me realize that one particular blog post on this website was highly provocative. I want to learn how to be inspiring without being offending. After our meeting I reviewed that blog post completely, trying to say what I wanted to say. The result has meanwhile entered my An inter-confessional report.

You might say that 7:25 is not really in the middle of the night. You don’t know that I had been working until 3am. My sleep troubles started already many years ago. During our first years in Tallinn we had a cat, Cleo. And I am allergic to cats. It took us years before we realized that this was why I woke up every night. The cat left us a few months later, but my sleep habits remained. I have always been a morning guy, my metabolism is ready for action within minutes after waking up. Once I read that this might even be a hereditary disorder.

But I don’t perceive my sleep troubles as a disorder because it doesn’t seriously disturb my life. Yes, it’s a bit annoying for social life, but it has advantages. As a software developer I am actually more efficient when I can work two hours in a row during the night, without worrying about the outside world.